Anniversaries commemorate time passing for various things; birthdays, weddings, births, deaths, holidays, religious events, historical events, and so on. Each anniversary holds its own meaning for the event it is commemorating and as it rolls around, each of us experiences the feelings associated with the original event. For example, many experience the "Christmas blues" due to the significance of the holiday and what it meant for us as children and families.
If the original feelings in our families were largely positive, we might be experiencing the blues because we miss those times with our loved ones, and if they were largely negative, the Christmas holiday might remind us of those negative experiences. Either way, it's not fun remembering.
If the anniversary we're celebrating is a union of a love relationship, such as a wedding, the memories might also evoke certain feelings. If it has been a successful marriage, the feelings might be largely positive and the time might have seemed to pass quickly, as we review our past experiences with our loved one. Or, if it has been largely negative we might be feeling miserable, as if time has stood still, and wondering how much longer we can put up with that person.
In relationships, anniversaries also commemorate a creative act on our part; the recognition of an idea that was born in our thoughts, materialized in form due to our efforts, and has sustained over time. It can derive from the first time we realized we loved someone and decided that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with that person. From that point, as we worked at building the relationship with that person, we might have realized the importance of trust, faith, compromise, communication, freedom, and mutual respect. If we did, our relationship anniversary is likely to be a pleasant experience.
The creative act we're celebrating may also be related to something we did for ourselves, such as completing a college or vocational training program to improve ourselves in the marketplace, and increase our self-esteem, or, the establishment of our own business.
The establishment of a small business is also a creative act. It entails the concepts of establishing a successful romantic relationship with another person and it requires extra faith in ourselves, because it means that we're not only germinating a creative idea but that we're planning to take care of ourselves economically in a creative manner. We're going to generate our own income. We're going to be "entrepreneurs."
An entrepreneur generally takes an idea that may work and organizes it into a commercial endeavor. If the business makes money, the entrepreneur is successful, in that instance. If it's not successful, he or she might continue developing his/her ideas or go back to the"9 to 5."
Since most new businesses "fail" most of us must be busy developing our entrepreneurial skills. When the first anniversary of our new small business rolls around we're probably not ready to declare ourselves a success, yet, just as we're also not ready to declare our marriage a success, following the first year.
In the business there are still start-up costs to recover and loans to pay and in both the marriage and business, we're still fine-tuning our relationships and experiencing the rocky road of newness, adjustment, and compromise.As time passes, however, we become more comfortable and might consider ourselves successful to that point.
A Time for Reflection
Does an anniversary signify the end of a relationship or a new beginning? Does it mean that a relationship has existed, or thrived, for a period of time and will probably continue to exist, or thrive? Is it a positive or negative experience? Is it worth the time, trouble and the effort? Have the parties found fulfillment in their commitment? Do they continue to find fulfillment? Is the relationship balanced; equal? Or, is it favored towards one participant and away from the other?
Each anniversary, just like our important holidays, is a time for reflection; a remembrance of times past. We might compare where we are today with last year and where we were when we started. We might consider whether or not we've achieved what we set out to achieve; our goals. We may need to make adjustments and set new goals.
Or, we may find ourselves content with our success and focus on our daily enjoyment. We may also find that we need to add some spark to the relationship, possibly by becoming involved in something new and getting away from any complacency. Whatever our circumstance, anniversary is a time to reflect, savor the good times and plan for the new. ©